My wife and I do not have sex really usually. As soon as, perhaps twice a month. I've been fighting for it to be far more frequent than that but let's just assume this is the very best I'll have to function with until I can get this "O" factor figured out...
Some background initial:
She's NOT a stay at home mom so the strain of taking care of the residence and children is not on her shoulders (rather it's on mine considering that I'm the one house - it is complicated, please do not judge me).... That's not to say she's not stressed though!!!! Right here are techniques that she IS stressed: (a) operate strain - catfighting drama amongst co-workers, (b) social stress - feeling the need to have to preserve up day-to-day with all her close friends, (c) mother anxiety - feeling the require to be far better than her parents and consistently smother the youngsters with attention, and (d) marital anxiety - forever dealing with a husband that's sex crazed because he's still madly in love with her and lusts more than her like it was the very first day they met (correct story)...
My wife is a really, extremely, Very controlling woman. She should be in comprehensive manage of a scenario in order for her to really feel content material with her surroundings. If she can predict/assume some thing could go wrong, she will take matters in her own hands and fix it ahead of it does. She's also a extremely reserved/conservative/conventional woman.
The situation:
As far as that I can tell, my wife thinks sex is "dirty", I collect that from her not starting to be sexual until she turned 16 (I was 13 when I began). As a matter of fact, I am convinced that when she says "I cuum when you do" it is just her way of saying "when you are completed, I'd like to be accomplished wasting my time asap" with no saying the exact words... She's quiet the complete time, bites her lip to maintain her mouth shut, she seems distracted most of the time, she acts like she'd rather be doing a thing else, and normally she just does a rocking motion and minimal kissing when we have sex...
This "O" thing is kind of new to me but a couple of individuals on right here has recommended that she has in no way orgasm and that is why she does not enjoy sex, she doesn't see what she can get out of it... So now I need some guidance to get her to reach it...
Some guidance that I know will not work: getting her reach it with Oral sex. She does not like receiving oral sex, either I'm negative at it or she just thinks it really is gross and it's mind more than matter... One more factor is toys, she appears actually weird-ed out with toys (even though we own some from a kinkier time in our life when sex mattered far more to her)... She's not a foreplay sort of girl, I could kiss her, massage her, grope her, and whisper sweet nothings to her and she would endure it with a smile but it would not lead to a deeper sexual experience (hell, if I do those issues, it could just lead to use cuddling ourselves to sleep rather of sex)... Acquiring a person else involved is forbidden, I was thinking about having an individual else (male/female) show me what I'm carrying out incorrect and she's not interested in "option lifestyles" and I respect that (despite the fact that I locate it incredibly prude to not even take into account how considerably enjoyable/educational that would be)... The final issue is finger stimulation throughout sex or anal sex, she never ever lets me put her in a position that I can reach her clitoris during penetration...
Give me some assist, I *Actually* want her to reach a "large O" but I feel she requirements to loosen up and let go of her self manage, I believe she's making sex a chore for herself and I want her to quit that.
Also, my wife uses the bathroom just before we have sex but for some cause my wife has to pee following each time we have sex as well... Is that regular or is it truly the pending orgasm and she's stopping to go use the bathroom and she's making the feeling pass???
Best answer:
Answer by Stacy
Please don't forget that I can not tell you what you wife is thinking/feeling/wanting and so on because I don't know her...but I can hopefully give you some insight into some girls. (No woman/man is the same).
Ok, I am going to start off with Section 4 (The Circumstance).
From what you're describing...getting quiet the complete time, biting her lip to preserve her mouth shut, seeming distracted, undertaking a rocking motion and minimal kissing throughout sex...that sounds to me like a woman who could be entirely self absorbed in sexual pleasure. Now if there was no rocking motion, then I would say that she was bored and biting her lip so as not to scream at you to hurry up. Rocking (of the pelvis, as I am assuming) is a confident sign that she is enjoying herself OR at least beginning to get pleasure from herself. A woman will rock/push/swish (hip to hip) etc due to the fact she is enjoying herself and is performing it to get more clitoral stimulation. When she says to you "I cuum when you do" she could truly mean it. Lots of folks like to cuum together, yes... it really is a special bond, BUT, it really is not always a excellent issue (like in your case), see when you and your wife orgasm together neither of you get to watch the other orgasm since you are absorbed in your own orgasm...therefore you by no means get to see if there is a difference (when she gets 'there') and since she is a reserved woman she probably doesn't have a big reaction when she has an 'O' and you assume you completed but she didn't. Which is a Really disappointing feeling for you.
Now there are distinct levels of orgasm for a female, personally for me they have ranged from a pleasant tingle by means of my physique with a slight 'pop' for and ending to mind blowing, knock your socks off tsunami waves of pleasure crashing via every single element of my physique and then leaving me feeling overrelaxed and unable to stand upright on my own. I like the latter best...I am thinking that perhaps your wife is getting orgasms on the lower end of the scale prehaps because of her self manage.
Section eight (Further Details)
I read in one more of your posts that your wife has had recurring yeast infections, yes? Well, a yeast infection could be creating her go to the toilet. But, again personally, I go to the toilet just before sex (preferably prior to foreplay also or it will take me straight back to -3 want) and I go to the toilet after sex simply because I like to clean up down there, it actually is a sticky mess immediately after sex down there for a woman, if you don't clean up you can finish up with a rash and it's just damned gross to walk about with cuum (male and/or female) generating your thighs stick and slide and cuum running down your legs.
I doubt that it really is the pending orgasm and she's stopping to go use the bathroom to make the feeling pass. I think maybe an individual has given you faulty data or you misunderstood it. When a woman gets that feeling that she demands to pee (the 1 that can occasionally come right just before an orgasm or assists to additional the pleasure along) it doesn't feel like you Require to pee, it feels like you ARE GOING to pee, like you are not going to be able to control it. Of course, we can control it and a lot of ladies do stop themselves because they are afraid they are going to pee themselves (like the feeling suggests). As soon as the pee feeling is stopped it typically just disappears and there is no longer and desire to pee.
Section 6.
To do with the oral sex, if you were good at it she would want it no matter how prude she may possibly be. So I say, you ought to not be any great at it. Oh, and another issue, numerous women will turn down oral sex because then they feel obligated to suck a c*ck, which can be tiring, and really not constantly that tasty.
My Suggestions:
*Get your wife to orgasm so you can watch. Tell her you want to watch her orgasm, tell her you want to watch her pleasure, tell her how considerably it turns you on for her to orgasm. If she is actually as prudish as you say they it's most likely not going to operate on the very first try, but, be persistent.
*Chill out. Stop seeing sex as such an obsessive topic. Quit seeing it as an act that causes resentment, bullying. Cease thinking that your wife only sees it as a chore. yeah, she might, but you want to truly think everytime you f*ck/make really like to your wife that you are each going to get pleasure out of the experience. Have you heard that saying "self forfilling prophecy"?
I'd tell you what my husband does that genuinely makes me crazy but it is three.15 AM here and I do not have the time right now.
If you do not feel my 'Answer' is a load of crap, then really feel cost-free to send me a message more than YA!
I'd be pleased to try and aid you work it out.
Give your answer to this question below!
Orignal From: My wife has too much control and never lets herself reach "the big O". I provided lots of details -- help me?
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