a section of my story I began writing, pleae critique.
Preface
You know the feeling that you get when something that could only exist in your dreams becomes a faithful reality? Simply explained as truest of all factors there are now and will be the timeless reality of…True Enjoy. Where issues in your heart appear to really feel clearer then air it is self…Where the darkest of days have a radiating sun that shines the brightest for you and only you…and where the worst of discomfort seems to fade in his arms with all of your doubts and fears. Accurate love, more honest than truth its self.
The Finish of Life as I know it
The cool and icy air on my face contrasted with the pulses of warmth surging by means of my body. I slowly opened my eyes seeking blurrily at the crème colored ceiling that seemed to concur ever square inch of my home. Letting out a wide mouthed yawn, I sat up groggily in my bed. I looked down at the brown and pink striped sheets, unwrinkled except for the imprints of my legs obstructing the smooth pattern it produced in the sheets.
I let out a heavy sigh and I walked over to the calendar. I employed my finger to follow the rows of x's until I got to the next blank spot. "Tuesday…" I said carelessly under my breath. I walked to my closet passing my music stand for this year's concert choir music. I grabbed a pare of dark wash jean Capri's, and a green lacy tank-best. I took an added second searching by means of the closet. It seemed… emptier than usual. I looked down at my dirty clothes bin. Empty. Weird. I sighed and shook it off as I took my towel of the door knob and headed across the slender hall towards the bathroom.
I took a step into the steamy warm room taking a deep breath in warming my insides out. At the same time I realized that my mom should have left for function. Strange, I believed to myself silently. I am the one generally up before her. Even on the weekends. The door closed automatically as I took of my top and bottoms and started the water as I put the plug in the drain.
I looked at my self in the full length mirror and sighed. God why did you hand this body to me? I analyzed my entire body top to bottom. I am short…really short. I have a heart shaped face, pale, light smatter of freckles dotting my cheek, acne free complexion, typical lips, curly auburn hair, and to my own and other peoples surprise static blue eyes. They were that color that everyone wants to take from the crayon box that would make the most typical thing stand out like a fish in the Sahara desert.
I looked at my torso…Damn I believed to my self as I looked at my bulgy chest. I by no means genuinely did get why people complained about having little boobs. I would rather have a tiny chest than two D's waiting for me each morning when I wake up. The worst part about the huge boobs I have a small waist which creates the illusion that my boobs are even bigger. Please do not get me began on my butt. It is massive. But not that it is genuinely fat it is more muscle. At least it doesn't jiggle. I believed staring with my back turned to the mirror. I looked at my legs, they had been pretty typical.
Finest answer:
Answer by Kelly Ann
i feel its remarkable and
you give wonderful detail :)
read mine and tell me what you believe?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index_ylt=Ak1ZQpcaDKE09P6SN1EE7O6zFQx._ylv=3?qid=20081129080121AA1fLMk
Give your answer to this question below!
Orignal From: Writing a story! HELP ME!?
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